Eight places an Emily in London TV series would ruin

Lily Collins may fancy a British equivalent of her hit series, but the last thing our capital needs is the Emily in Paris treatment

Emily in Paris? Sure. Emily in Rome? Fine. Emily in London? No thanks. At least, that’s what we should all be frantically screaming at the director if he dares float the idea of a UK-based spin-off series.
Indeed, Lily Collins, 35 – daughter of musician Phil (born in the UK but raised in Los Angeles), and shining star of the hit Netflix show – is currently in the capital, preparing for her West End debut in play Barcelona, and rumour has it she’s rather taken with our metropolis. 
In fact, during a recent interview with the BBC, she said a British offshoot of the series “would be so fun”, and that her character Emily Cooper – an American marketing executive with an unnervingly positive attitude and a curious ability to bewitch every man within breathing distance – would love to have tea with the King.
How quaint. How charming! But there’s just one problem Ms Collins, we’d rather you didn’t.
It’s nothing personal. It’s just that, with you comes your legion of fans, and the British are a private sort of people. We’ll gladly watch Emily continue her cheery jaunts – in Paris, in Rome, in Helsinki for all we care – so long as you don’t turn our hallowed British landmarks into Emily in Paris photo-ops. 
So, without further ado, here are eight London locations that don’t need (but would almost certainly get) the Emily in Paris treatment.
A hubbub of people, a melting pot of different cuisines, a feast for the senses: this is prime Emily real estate. The prospect of a meet cute by the chocolate-coated strawberry stall is almost too good to resist. Emily mid-bite; a brooding, Mr Darcy-like figure materialising from nowhere with a napkin – no doubt, the director is already taking notes. 
But as anyone who’s visited Borough Market will know, the sheer number of Londoners and tourists descending on this hotspot at any one time is mildly terrifying. A more likely scenario would involve Emily being carried away by heaving crowds while pickpockets ravage her statement jewellery – not quite the trip she’d bargained for. No doubt the effervescent Emily would somehow spin this into a positive – mais c’est la vie! – drawing in additional hordes of adoring fans hoping for a similarly authentic experience. She must stay away.
A wander through the glorious blooms of Columbia Road Flower Market in London’s East End, broken only for a morning coffee and a visit to one of the delis, is a tranquil start to any Sunday morning. 
It’s also the perfect setting for a marketing campaign… or a launch party, if you’re the kind of person to think business-first, which Emily is. It might sound like a break with tradition, but what’s to say an area associated with small vendors, second-hand stores and community-driven folk can’t be the face of a major floral fragrance advert? Or a nature-inspired fast-fashion line? If anyone can make it happen, Emily can, and that is exactly why she must never set foot there.
Nothing screams Emily like the possibility of a brightly coloured backdrop to clash with her already-clashing outfit. Cue Neal’s Yard: a collection of independent restaurants, cafés and shops tucked away in Seven Dials, Covent Garden. 
Home to “London’s fluffiest doughnuts” and all-day porridge, the not-so-hidden-gem has become a social media sensation in recent years, with tourists flocking to the courtyard to snap perfect “Gram-worthy” pics. 
But an Emily in Paris-style publicity boost would catapult the Yard to new heights of fame, and what was once a spot for a coffee with friends would quickly become yet another shrine to the show – presumably overrun by aspiring social media marketers wielding selfie sticks.
Emily appears on her fair share of roof terraces throughout the series – not least for a romantic date with on-again-off-again love interest, French chef Gabriel. But London’s Sky Garden takes things up a notch, with 360-degree panoramic views of the capital from the top of the affectionately dubbed “Walkie-Talkie” building.
If Emily does eventually decide to go the distance with one of her love interests, the Sky Garden would undoubtedly be a contender for the proposal site. Free entry, nice greenery and lots of open space (in case she opts to wear another planet-sized hat). It would then be forevermore revered as the Holy Sepulchre of the “Emily in…” universe – to which fans would pilgrimage at their leisure. Mon Dieu. 
Brick Lane was originally known as a brick manufacturing hub, then for its vintage markets, and then for its bagels. In what feels like a slap in the face to an illustrious history, its next claim to fame could be Emily if we don’t stage a speedy intervention. 
Fusing two of the character’s favourite things – fashion (in the form of an enormous, bustling, underground clothes market) and food (in the shape of Beigel Bake’s nationally renowned fare) – Brick Lane is a strong contender for the Emily in London itinerary. 
Emily is undeniably a woman of fashion and art. It’s sometimes difficult to argue that she’s a woman of culture (most notably when she’s butchering the French language), but she’s certainly comfortable in intellectual company. 
A London-based spin-off would undeniably feature some kind of gallery, therefore, and with the series often showcasing contemporary art, the Tate Modern feels like Emily’s most probable victim. 
But let’s hold onto hope for a moment, perhaps Emily in Paris will inspire the next generation of Hirsts and Hockneys? Or, at the very least, maybe some of Emily’s outfits will be retained by the gallery as puzzling examples of 21st-century modern art. 
One could argue that Notting Hill has had its day. Released in 1999, fans have been flocking to Portobello Road for more than two decades to see the streets, market, blue door and the bookshop where one of film’s greatest love stories played out. But maybe it’s time we all moved onto something altogether more current?
The Emily in Paris team seems to think so, with Ms Collins telling the BBC that Emily would “definitely go to Portobello Road and buy some antiques” if she were in London. Does it feel like a desecration of an all-time classic? That depends on your strength of feeling. But don’t be surprised if the tourists taking photos outside William Thacker’s iconic travel bookshop start sporting berets. 
If Emily really does manage to secure entry to Buckingham Palace, then credit where credit is due: she clearly drives a hard bargain. But there are a few valid concerns that need airing.
One, does she own anything remotely appropriate for such a royal engagement? It would be most distressing to see the King interacting with a woman in a gigantic feather dress or hot pants and knee-high boots. 
Two, will the Royal family be unwittingly roped into some kind of marketing campaign – forced to advertise Emily’s latest fashion piece as part of the deal? 
And lastly, what might the diplomatic repercussions of such a meeting be? An Anglo-American-Franco-Italian melange? Almost unprecedented. 
All in all, while there is something undeniably hypnotic about a young woman gallivanting across Europe with nothing but a questionable grasp of French and a garish wardrobe, I am more than content to enjoy Emily’s escapades from a distance. One roughly the width of the English Channel, preferably.